How To Become An Untrollable Troll

Dear Friend,

This letter is tough for me to write.

Because it forces me to reflect on my childhood which I never want my own offspring to experience.

Here’s why:

Remember the “one kid” from school who always gets picked on?

That was me.

From the age of five till nineteen, I was bullied almost daily.

I got bullied in school… outside… at soccer… basically everywhere.

And the times I fought back…

I would be blamed...
I would be the “bad guy”...
I would be punished...

Not the bullies.

At a certain point the bullying was so rampant…

I’m not exaggerating.

There was this one nasty bloke who would bully me from the second I entered school… to the minute I left… often even “hunting me down” while I was cycling home.

One day…

I promised myself the next time he would attack me, I’d push him into a nearby ditch and drown his ass in 50CM of water.

This is how “far gone” I was.

Can you imagine being bullied so much you’re ready to take out the bullies one by one?

I thank God I didn’t do it.

I did something which probably saved him and myself…

I told my teacher everything.

Only then did this kid stop.

Anyway, you think all of this is bad?

Oh my child…

You see:

When you’ve been bullied non-stop like me…

It harms your social skills.

When I was 15…

My only social interaction was in video games.

However, when I turned 19…

I decided every time someone would bully… harass… or even make a sneaky remark at me… I’d emotionally humiliate them in front of their friends… classmates… teachers… even family.

True story:

Once upon a time, while sitting in English class, the “class bully” decided it was a smart idea to pick on me by calling me “ugly” in front of the whole group.

A big mistake on his part.

For two reasons:

Reason #1) I ain't ugly.
Reason #2) He never expected my response.

Can you guess my reply?

You say you don’t?

Alrighty...

I swiveled my chair, locked eyes with him and…

I said out loud:

“You might think you’re tough in front of your buddies. But you’re not. They ain’t your friends. The only reason they hang around with you is because they’re just as insecure as you. In fact, I bet your mother is divorced, right? I bet her new boyfriend hits you at home when you ‘misbehave’. So you’re just a little [insert name for female dog here] who tries to reflect his insecurities on me.”

Pause.

I guess you’re smiling now, right?

I guess you’re enjoying my masterfully crafted response, right?

Believe it or not...

Everything I told him was pure assumption.

I had zero clue about his personal life.

Yet…

Turns out…

Everything I told him ended up being true.

The bully’s mother was divorced.

The mother’s new boyfriend was abusing this prick.

How did I know?

Simple:

I’ve become so good at reading people…

I can often describe their deepest emotions by simply looking and listening to what they’re saying.

Also, please understand I’m not proud of exposing this boy in front of the group because…

As I’ve grown older, I now know he was just like me:

While I expressed my trauma by becoming socially handicapped throughout my childhood…

The kid expressed it by bullying other children.

Plus…

Looking back, I’m glad I got bullied.

Why?

The reason is simple…

You become an expert in dealing with, understanding and altering the emotions of people.

Both...

Moving on…

I’d like to share with you one of the most powerful techniques I’ve learned for dealing with trolls… haters… and bullies.

It’s a simple yet groundbreaking psychological hack which instantly forces your opponent to surrender.

You become immune to any hate people throw at you.

I call it:

Here’s how it works…

Whenever a stranger… a co-worker… a family member… a bully… a hater… a troll… tries to “trigger” you by making a snarky comment.

Following these three steps:

Step #1 - Agree To The Remark)

The first thing you do is humbly agree with the attacker.

You simply admit, with a smile, whatever they said is true.

Then, you execute…

Step #2 - Amplify The Insult)

Secondly, you amplify the insult thrown at you.

Make it sound so crazy... so over-the-top.. so ridiculous… people have no choice but to laugh.

Step #3 - Engage With The Demon)

Alrighty…

The third and last step is to turn the situation into a playful conversation.

OK, want an example?

You say you do?

Great, let’s imagine someone calls me “ugly”...

Here’s what I’d reply:

Bully: “Michael, you’re ugly.”

Me: “Yep, I know (Agree). I’m actually buying a new mirror today because mine shattered when I looked in the mirror this morning (Amplify). Mind donating a few bucks? (Engage)”

Boom.

I pinky promise when you respond like this the bullies won’t know what hit them.

Even if they do respond, with another insult, simply repeat the technique…

Plus…

Cognitive Reframing not only works with bullies but…

It also works like a charm when dealing with troll comments on your ads… emails… content… and marketing campaigns.

When you use this “magic” technique…

You Become An Untrollable Troll!

Sceptical?

No worries.

I invite you to try out this technique.

See what happens.

Neither you nor the bully will ever be the same again.

You can be sure about that.

Your friend,

Michael “Bully Destroyer” Arkema